Night of Horror (or Blood-sucking Beetles Blunderingly Burrow into Bria's Brain)

I suppose that I should keep standard protocol and warn Claire to beware if the title hasn't already warned her off.

Now to begin the tale:

On Sunday evening Elizabeth, Katherine, and I went for a dip in our pool. We swam awhile and had great fun. So far so good.

Around nine thirty I decided it was time to rinse off in the pool shower. I happily began to wash my hair in the warm water. Suddenly, I noticed A Strange Feeling in my ear. It felt as if there were a lot of water clogging my ear. Not liking this feeling, I shook my head on one side and gingerly poked my finger in. It met something hard and crunchy with legs. The crunchy thing Wiggled and Disappeared into my Ear.

Naturally I did not take this turn of events calmly. I frantically shook my head and banged my ear, but to no avail. At this point I knew that it was time to scream.
And laugh. The whole situation seemed so ludicrous.

So screaming and laughing in a frantic way I raced out onto the pool deck, leaving the shower running. I could feel the Thing working it's way up my ear canal. My ear felt tight and hurt a little and there were odd scratchy noises. I started to panic a little. Actually a lot. What if it never came out? It seemed like such a stupid thing, to let a bug crawl up your ear. How grotesque!

Elizabeth and Katherine weren't sure of what to do, so while they deliberated I did a strange running dance up to the house. I would run a few steps and then dance on one foot, shaking my head on my side, boxing my ear. It occurred to me that maybe the bug, or whatever it was, was trying to crawl up, so I tried tipping my head the other way, but that was scary.

I could see Daddy through the kitchen window, so I frantically banged on the window and clearly signalled that there was a giant bug (or something) in my ear. He didn't seem to understand, so I raced around to the door. By this time I was crying in a strange sort of way. My ear was hurting, and I was really starting to panic. Every time I would calm down I would visualize a bug tunneling in my ear and would go off into hysterics again.

Once I was inside the family gathered around to assist. The Thing was not in sight, as every member of the fam pointed out after peering down my ear canal. Through my uncontrolled shrieks and and all the uproar I had created I dimly heard suggestions. Aaron helpfully pointed out that the Bug couldn't go past my ear drum. Daddy suggested getting a q-tip and honey to stick in my ear to get it out. I reasonably suggested calling 911 and wondered how on earth they would get a bug out and how on earth I was going to make it through my ordeal. Mama stood still and prayed out loud and subsequently had a brilliant idea.

"Light!" She said. I wondered if this was part of her prayer, but it wasn't. Get me a lamp, she said, and got one herself. She tipped the lamp standing by the doorway and held it to my ear and commanded someone to get a flashlight. Daddy obliged with an absolutely gargantuan one. Once this was held to my ear the wiggling and pain increased, but it was moving out.

Daddy and Aaron gasped. My whole family was peering into my ear. I was grossed out myself and couldn't stand still, so Mama held me and made me. I tried not to look at the horrified faces around me. "It's coming...coming...ewwww....almost there...hang on....disgusting..."

And then it was out. Aaron ran for his camera and documented the size of the lovely little, or not so little beetle. He hopes to publish a picture of it shortly.

Well, that's enough for now. I'm startig to feel sick thinking about it again. It seemed like a good story, but now that I'm rehashing it...The moral of the story is that mothers are great and that prayer works and the strength of the human spirit will prevail. (just kidding about the last one)